


Small Doses

by xMagnusBaneX



Series: Tattooed and pierced Wonho [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: (I Will Try My Best), Alternate Universe - College/University, Cocky Wonho, College student Changkyun, Don't Wanna Spoiler, Enemies to Lovers, Hate Sex, Hate to Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smut, Wonkyun, hopefully, lots of frustration, they are neighbors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-12-26 05:52:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12052671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xMagnusBaneX/pseuds/xMagnusBaneX
Summary: All Changkyun wished for, was to live his college life in peace together with Hyungwon. No drama, no distractions, no love or anything, that could threaten his future.But as so often in life, things didn't go as easy as planned. Now, he finds himself in enough drama and almost daily distractions, which drove him on the brink of despair. Love? Not really. Only a guy named Shin Hoseok, letting him feel the exact opposite. He wouldn't let himself fall for someone as cocky and egoistic as Hoseok.Hate was much more funny than love.They would probably agree on that, right?





	1. Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, here comes the second part of my series! The enemies to lovers story (let's hope it turns out that way xD)  
> Originally, this should only be a few chapters long.. Things changed a bit, and I actually don't know how long this story will be. This turned a little out of hand, after I told my friend about the plot. Suddenly, our brains became one and the result was too many scenes I hadn't even planned xD
> 
> So yeah, I guess be ready for a rollercoaster ride of emotions? I hope it's gonna be one! 
> 
> English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes you find! I'm only human, I did my best T.T BUT, please tell me if you find some bigger mistakes! I can easily correct it, that's no problem, so don't be shy and tell me! ^^  
> Also, I'm open for any critic that can help me improve my writing! I can take it and it would help me a lot! Anyways!
> 
> Enjoy!<3

 

 

People often said, that everything happened for a reason.

 

Changkyun wasn’t sure, if he could agree to that.

 

He didn’t believe in destiny, wasn’t really religious or thought, that any supernatural beings like ghosts actually existed. Call him dull, but it was his mindset. Straight faced, plain, antisocial and emotionally kinda fucked up Im Changkyun.

 

 

Their situation wasn't the best in their second year of college. And while Hyungwon panicked and believed karma was coming back at them, for something they did before this life, Changkyun called it plainly 'Fucking Life’.

 

To that time, Hyungwon – his best friend since middle school – and him were living together in a small apartment they could barely afford, thanks to their parents. It wasn’t perfect and they had to share a room, but they could somehow live near their college – instead hours from home - and that was most important. Their first year was awesome and it went by faster than both of them wished. It was mostly peaceful, except from their nerve-wracking tests, but it was worth it. Hyungwon would go to parties and get drunk to calm down again, whilst Changkyun would stay in their shared room and enjoy reading one of his books. That's how their friendship worked. Over a year, they loved this routine they proudly made and hoped, the rest of their time would go by the same. But of course, things had changed drastically, after Hyungwons parents discovered that their son was gay and had a boyfriend for over a year. Immediately, they stopped sending him money and made it unnecessarily dramatic – even gave Changkyun the fault and accused him of seducing their son; being 'A Bad Influence' they told him. It was ridiculous and both men decided, cutting off any connection to these two would be for the best, until everyone calmed down. He didn’t even want to remember the nasty things they called their own son and realized in that moment, how happy he should be to have accepting parents, instead of these people.

  
Which led them to their problem, of not having enough money to pay the rent anymore. Hyungwon felt more than guilty and apologized about a thousand times, but Changkyun reassured him, that it wasn’t his fault. Which still didn’t solve their problem and even worse, Hyungwon wasn’t able to find a part time job in time. On top of being in second year, the unbearable stress in these few weeks took every left brain cell from them. It was horrible.

  
Until, Hyungwon came barging into their apartment one day, wide grin plastered onto his face and exclaiming, that he had a solution for their problem. Changkyun looked at him rather bored and unbelieving, not trusting his friend and immediately thought of something illegal, that the older might have planned.

But it turned out surprisingly different. Hyungwon talked about his boyfriend – his name was Kihyun and he was four years older than them – and his apartment. Seemingly, they talked about the problem, and how Kihyun gave himself a little fault at their situation. He suggested Hyungwon, that both of them could live in his apartment. Changkyun could take the guest bedroom and do whatever he wanted to it, while the couple would stay in Kihyuns bedroom. The youngest could invest the monthly payment from before into this apartment, and Kihyun would pay the rest, until Hyungwon found something to also pay.

Changkyun was on the fence with the idea, but it seemed to be their only chance to not land on the streets. _So he agreed._ Under the condition, to help in the household or wherever Kihyun might need him. He felt guilty, because his payment covered only a third of the total amount.

Before this whole incident went down, they visited Kihyuns apartment a few times and Changkyun always had to admit, that it was really specious and cozy – which wasn’t surprising, did Kihyun work as chef under a rather luxurious restaurant. From his looks – especially the pink hair – Changkyun would have never guessed a job like this would fit the older, but he tried Kihyuns food more than once to know, that he was born for this. To make another point which made it easier to decide, it was only about eight minutes away from their college, if you walked.

In the end, Changkyun hadn’t a reason to decline this opportunity. They knew Kihyuns apartment, it was easier to get to their college and safe time – which wasn’t the case with their old apartment, where it took them a good 20 minutes by bus (so they could also safe money on bus tickets) – and Kihyun made the best meals one can imagine. It would have been dumb from Changkyun, to actually say no to this.

 

 

_Changkyun should have known, that moving into this apartment would be a bad idea, but it was their rescue 1 ½ year ago._

 

 

  
”Chanie, hurry up or we’re gonna be late for chem!“ his thoughts were cut of by the voice of his best friend, which startled him a little. ”Wow, sorry bro, but we have less than half an hour, so you better get changed.” He looked to his left, Hyungwon standing like a model against his door frame and looking tired, but with a slight grin on his face. Changkyun himself just sat on his bed, lost in his thoughts and ready to fall asleep again, because he barely had any after last night. His eye bags were probably darker than black, and he could only scoff at his friend before standing up. ”A good morning to you too my best friend, I’m gonna leave you alone and eat something in the kitchen. And because you asked so cutely, I’m gonna make you a lunch for later.“ With that, the taller male was gone and Changkyun sighed tiringly. He was really lucky to have a friend like Hyungwon, who wouldn’t take his bad moods the wrong way.

 

Especially after this weekend, he couldn’t bring himself to smile and act happy, when he was grumpy as fuck. He changed into something to wear for the day, while recalling yesterday’s events.

Like always, the guys were over. As soon as Changkyun saw them while getting out of the bathroom, he made a beeline to his room and locked it. No fucking way, would he be dragged into this – he also ignored Kihyun and Hyungwon knocking at his door and calling him over and tried acting dead. With a Monday on the next day, he wouldn’t let them persuade him into drinking, playing, dancing and singing and whatever the fuck they did.

But of course, he couldn’t even relax in his own room and sleep, because they turned up the music to the maximum. And sang to it like drunken idiots. He tried to ignore it like always, but even headphones and a book couldn’t keep his frustration down. At around 3 a.m. they finally stopped and the apartment turned quiet. Changkyun fell asleep not even two minutes later. Sadly, luck wasn’t on his side, and his first class for the day started at eight. And it was Monday. And he was done with this day already.

 

He ruffled through his black hair and tried combing it down, while exiting his room. His confused and sleepy eyes found at least three bodies laying around on couches and the ground, hopefully just sleeping and not dead. Landing in jail was the last thing he needed on top of all the shit. 

There were sounds coming from the kitchen, and he guessed it was only Hyungwon making something to eat. While yawning and scratching his neck, his socked feet walked towards their bathroom and he only glanced one last time at the bodies in the living room, before simply shrugging it off. He was too used to the side alright, but that knowledge didn't really calm him. He reached for the door handle, shivering at the contact with the cold metal and pushed it down.

 

 

And his tired mind wasn’t ready to be met with the sight before him.

 _Scratch that_ , he would never be ready for this sight – to this person in front of his eyes, smiling brightly at him, acting like nothing out of the ordinary happened just now.

 

 

  
”Why the fuck are you standing half naked in our bathroom, Shin?“ he really didn’t want to be in the same room as the older – not even in the same building, to be honest -, but he had to get ready. He turned his head on autopilot and gave his best to ignore the others presence as best as possible – he needed about ten minutes to get ready, he should be able to survive it. But he had to wait until school to take a piss, because in no way, would he do that infront of this asshole. ”Aw, come on! We know each other for over a year, and you won’t call me by my name?“ Changkyun ignored him and went to the sink, taking out his toothbrush and paste, before squeezing something onto the brush and wetting it. He started brushing his teeth and still tried to ignore the annoying presence now walking towards him. ”Ok, ok, I see, someone is grumpy today and won’t take some harmless jokes I guess. But to answer your nicely asked question, I got up early because off a meeting I have to go to. So I asked Won, if I could take a shower quickly and borrow some clothes. And- here we are!“

 

Changkyun made a noise of listening, before spitting out the foam in his mouth. ”Doesn’t explain your upper half still being unclothed. I don’t need this sight this early in the morning that made me almost puke, thank you very much.“ He continued brushing his teeth. ”So rude! And I was very hurt by the way, you didn’t even appreciate my body for two seconds before looking away! Are you even human? Everyone loves my body, you know? They love looking at my tattoos and asking about them.“ he stood beside Changkyun now and latter tried really hard not to punch him with his elbow. His eyes probably rolled themselves into his brain, after he listened to the bullshit Wonho talked about – only one of the many reasons he disliked this guy; his egoistic, cocky and self-centered personality. _He hated it_.

 

”Don’t be so full of yourself, it’s disgusting and too early for it. My mind isn’t fully ready to block out any assholes in five meter radius yet.“ Instead of being offended, the older only laughed and leaned against the sink now. Changkyun could see him better from there, bright smile on his face and too happy for the morning – and he also stood there with a T-shirt in his hand but not making any move to actually wear it, fucking asshole. ”You know, I’m still five years older than you. Calling me an asshole is really disrespectful.“ From the corner of his eyes, he could see Wonho actually pouting playfully and folding his arms in front of his broad and muscular chest. And Changkyun didn’t even care about talking while his mouth was full of foam and salvia, spitting everywhere but not giving any fucks, ”I’m so so sorry Wonho hyung, does that sound better to your ears. Should I add a 'master' for you?“ and only then did he spit out everything in his mouth.

 

Wonho chuckled and the younger was pissed, that nothing he ever did could make this guy mad. Never! It was so frustrating, could only his presence make Changkyun angry enough to just leave the room. ”There, you also call me 'Wonho'. I thought we were done with this name. Only clients and people who don’t really know me, call me by that name. Not closer people. Oh, and that 'master‘ name wouldn’t be that-” Changkyun interrupted him, before any perverted shit could leave his mouth – another reason to hate Shin Hoseok; he was a disgusting pervert and couldn’t keep his mouth or hands (or even body) to himself.

 

”And that’s exactly why I’m calling you by that name. We aren‘t close, we aren’t friends and I surely don’t want to change any of that. _You_ -” he pointed with his toothbrush towards the blonde, ”and _me_ -” then pointing towards himself, ” _won’t ever be friends_.“ And to underline this, he shook his head while staring the older down with a stern look – but probably not looking intimidating at all, with toothpaste around his mouth and hair sticking everywhere. The older tried to hide a grin and Changkyun could only let out a worn sigh. He washed his mouth with water. After spitting it out and standing upright again, he searched for a cleanser next.

 

”Doesn’t have to be friends, I’m also open for more than that, you’re a very attractive man Changkyunie.“ Latter scoffed in disbelief, but still continued with his morning routine, while trying to stay calm. ”First, don't fucking call me that. Second, can‘t tell if you noticed, but I’m not your biggest fan to say it nicely. And I can tell, that you don’t like me either, so why waste your time?“ Wonho seemed to actually think about it for a few seconds, before grinning and simply shrugging, ”Also, I don’t hate you. I just think you are really boring, too stern, too grumpy and moody most of the times, also you definitely read too much and have to drink and party more with us – you act like a grandpa! You should also change your appearance here and there and try something new, you would look awesome with brown hair or an ear piercing, but instead you chose this boring style! Also- _au_! Fuck you, that hurt!“ Changkyun only snorted, not regretting pinching one of the pierced nipples as hard as he could and dirtying his fingers. He felt somehow disgusted with Wonhos warm skin under his fingertips, while also feeling the cold metal of the piercing. His mind quickly asked itself, if it hurt piercing that sensitive place, but dismissed the thought a second later.

 

”That was for being a fucking asshole and douchebag. Now, I’m asking you nicely to _Fuck_. _Off_. I don't need a headache this early in the morning from listening to your voice ten seconds straight.“ He washed his face clean and completely ignored the tattooed guy beside him. Not even looking to his side, as the older chuckled lightly. It sounded different than usual; actually amused but with a sad undertone. Hearing it was weird, but Changkyun was the last one to question it. ”Well, sorry for interrupting your morning, really didn’t mean to, you kinda barged in here and- yeah. I’m- gonna leave now, enjoy your day Changkyunie.“ He wanted to grumble as an answer, kinda caught off guard by the sudden change of behavior, but again not commenting it. He also wanted to get mad about the nickname being used again, but something made Changkyun freeze in his place.

  
Something cold, but also warm and soft and felt like so long ago, since he experienced this kind of touch.

 

_A pair of lips pressed against his cheek._

 

Softly and delicately, only slightly moving before parting again. A warm breath hitting his skin next and making a shiver run down his spine and goosebumps spread over his body. ”See ya.“

And with that, he was gone. Leaving a frozen Changkyun behind, body shivering and head exploding while recalling what just had happened. He cursed his body for reacting that way and the only excuse he had for that, was being sex deprived for almost a year now.

 

That was the only reason he would accept.

 

 

And something told him, he would be fucked from this moment on.

 

  
Yeah, maybe karma was actually a real thing.

 


	2. Judgement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, the second chapter came a lot later than I expected^^'  
> It was a mixture of school slapping me in the face and me not being satisfied with the chapter. I think it's because I don't want to rush anything, but this chapter just feels like it? Sorry if u feel the same, I'm trying not to xD
> 
> Anyways, don't listen to me and just enjoy the chapter!<3

 

 

  
_The first time he met Wonho wasn’t really special or spectacular._

 

_It was after one week living in their new home. Changkyun was slowly getting used to his new environment and to the privacy he suddenly had. Having Kihyun and Hyungwon as roommates was also good. Even though they were in a relationship, both didn’t like showing too much skin ship around other people, which saved Changkyun from some awkward moments._

_Hyunwoo was the first person he met and honestly, Changkyun liked him immediately. The older man was more quiet and calm. He seemed like a nice person and had an adorable smile. Not long after meeting the older, Changkyun found himself talking a lot with him. Their conversations were easy and not really deep. Relaxing and nothing complicated. Hyunwoo was 24 and worked at an office, liked playing football and going to the gym – which was really obvious, looking at his muscles. It was easy being around Hyunwoo and the younger felt comfortable and didn’t have to force himself to like the older._

_The second person he met on the same afternoon was Minhyuk, and this guy was probably the biggest opposite to Hyunwoo that existed. His hair was blonde and the wide smile never left his face. He was loud and jittery and was far too exited to meet Changkyun – he seemed to know Hyungwon already through Kihyun. Changkyun was taken away from his conversation with Hyunwoo by Minhyuk, who pulled him into a hug. Hyunwoo seemed used to Minhyuks behavior and smiled encouragingly at him. Changkyun sighed and tried to return the hug, even though it was a lot more awkward and unsure from his side._

 

_A few hours went by with them five sitting together in the living room and enjoying the time. Changkyun was fidgeting a lot on the ground where he chose to sit. He felt uncomfortable with the group. They seemed so relaxed with each other, talking about everything and nothing, while throwing in some insiders Changkyun couldn’t understand. He wasn’t used being in a bigger group like this and couldn’t open his mouth to talk. And although Hyunwoo seemed to be as quiet as himself, Changkyun could see the big difference between them: the older man listened calmly to his friends, smiling and laughing in the right moments and seeming more than relaxed, looking at them with a strong warmth in the eyes. He was like a big brother. His presence was enough to make everyone happy. Changkyun couldn’t say the same about himself and was already calculating, when it was alright to leave and run to his room. He felt bad for thinking about that, but he couldn’t help himself. The only place he could imagine himself at that moment was his room, safely lying on his bed and tucked under the dark blue sheets._

_Right at the moment he decided to leave, the doorbell was heard. Inwardly, Changkyun screamed angrily, because he couldn’t just leave right after a new person arrived. Childishly he told himself, this person would land on his non-existent blacklist. Minhyuk exclaimed happily, that the person was probably 'Hoseok' who came back from work. Kihyun got up to open the door, while Changkyun tried thinking about the job this Hoseok could have. It was 1am, which made him wonder what it could be. Voices_ _were audible from the hallway, until the two joined them in the living room._

 

_And yeah, Changkyun couldn’t deny his little shock at Hoseoks appearance. Changkyun grew up in a family friendly neighborhood. He went to a religious school with no 'black sheep’s’. Until college, Changkyun didn’t even know dying your hair was something normal._  
_In this first second his eyes landed on Hoseok, his head was spinning for a moment. He tried keeping his composure while looking the other up and down in the few seconds he greeted his friends._

  
_His bleached hair was styled back and it seemed kinda wet for Changkyun. Both ears had too many piercings to count, shimmering in the yellow light of the lamp in their living room. Two piercings were on his left eyebrow – something Changkyun hadn’t seen before – as well as a black piercing on his bottom lip. Their eyes suddenly met and Changkyun was left breathless for a moment, too intimidated by this guy who didn’t seem as friendly as the others he met on that day. He was ready to run out the door and cry for help, if this guy pulled out a gun or something else. His stomach was churning and the fear was getting stronger._

_To his surprise, the guy didn’t try to kill him and instead started to smile happily. Out of nowhere. As if it was normal smiling that warmly at some stranger you haven’t even been introduced yet. Changkyun was left dump founded and only watched him with an unsure expression. “You two haven’t met each other yet, have you? Hyung, this is Changkyun, one of my new roommates and Hyungwon’s best friend. Changkyunie, this is Hoseok. He lives next door together with our Minhyuk here.” Changkyun was pulled out of his trance and hastily got up to bow down. Kihyun called him hyung, so he was at least four years older than him. He was raised to show his respect to elders, even though they scared him. And Hoseok was scaring him more than a little._

_“He seems so polite, you could learn something from him Hyungwonie.” A grumble was heard from his best friend at Hoseoks comment. “You can stop bowing kid.” Changkyun looked up again, seeing the grin on Hoseoks face. “I’m Hoseok, but call me Wonho for now. Only close friends call me by my birth name, it’s nothing personal.” His smile was comforting, even though Changkyun could feel, that something else was also behind it. A little mocking and dangerous. He ignored it because his thoughts were ridiculous, but they lingered in the back of his mind as he nodded with a straight face and shortly bowed again. Hoseok cleared his throat as their eyes met again and a smirk was slowly creeping on his face. These sudden mood changes were really weird for Changkyun and he couldn’t understand the older._

_But to be honest, I’m sure we will be really close sooner or later. You’re too pretty not to get close to.” And he actually winked at Changkyun. He fucking winked. The wink wasn’t even the worst, but more the hidden double meaning in which he said everything. He heard it clearly and he wasn’t the only one. Kihyun closed his eyes in irritation and slapped the older on his chest. “Don’t you dare coming near Changkyunie with your perverted mind! He is the youngest in our group and I won’t let you taint him Shin Hoseok.” Latter smiled innocently and raised his hands in surrender. “Chill, I was kidding. He is too cute for me anyways.” His eyes met Changkyuns for a slight second, and the younger saw a glint of something he couldn’t assign to. Automatically, a shiver ran down his spine and his head was screaming at him, that this guy was someone he should stay away from._

 

 

_Far away._

 

_Like, ‘a new continent could be enough' away._

 

 

_But at the same time he knew, it wouldn’t be possible. Hoseok seemed close to everyone and Changkyun wasn’t in the position to decide anything. He was probably overreacting again, which he tended to do more often than he liked to admit. Maybe it was just a bad first meeting and the older won’t be as weird as he seemed in the beginning? Maybe they could actually become closer like the older said?_

 

_Changkyun didn’t really believe it himself._

 

 

  
_The whole night the group spend together was just a wasted time for the youngest. And the more he had to be in the same room with Hoseok – or 'Wonho', whatever -, the more he started to dislike the older. His mere presence made Changkyun uncomfortable and he couldn’t look Wonho in the eyes, without getting goosebumps in the next moment. Wonhos gaze was too intense for his liking, having something dark in it Changkyun didn’t want to know about. And also, Wonho acted like the typical assholes with cocky attitude that Changkyun usually stayed away from._

 

_It was a really bad first impression, to put it in a nice way._

_Still, things could change in the future he told himself._

  
_Maybe, Wonho was actually a nice guy and only acted in front of strangers like this?_

 

_Changkyun wasn’t looking forward to any meetings with Wonho in the future, but he shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, right? It was only their first encounter._

 

 

_He couldn’t be that horrible._

 

 

 

+_+_+

 

 

  
Changkyun wouldn’t call himself an unthankful individual – rather the opposite.

 

He knew that without Kihyuns help, they would have landed on the streets for a good amount of time. As much as he liked to complain in his head about living here, it could have been worse. But the only moments he admitted that to himself were, when everything around him was a soundless peace and he could enjoy one of Kihyuns meals. _Alone_. Sitting in their kitchen by the table and reading one of his books. Exactly like right now. That was what he liked and missed. His plate was about half empty and for a slight second, he was surprised that over the whole day no one came barging into their apartment. It was Tuesday, and most of them were free for the day. Changkyun had hoped, that maybe he could enjoy this day for once, without the idiots being all around him. Maybe they found another place to stay and bother someone else.

 

But his hopes were smashed the second after. (Was that actually karma? Punishing him for such thoughts?)

 

He heard the door open, laughter’s and loud voices filling the apartment immediately. Minhyunks voice was more than clear as he suddenly screamed and loud footsteps were audible. Changkyun sighed and hunched over his plate, face looking down and trying to eat a bit faster. His stomach wouldn’t be happy afterwards for stuffing himself, but still better than interacting with any of them. His book was beside his plate, closed and forgotten, until he was in his safe zone again. In his room. With a locked door and his comfortable bed. Maybe work on his assignment due next week and enjoy the free weekend afterwards. “Kyunie?” he jumped a little, not expecting his name being called. Without looking up, he could already tell to whom this velvety voice with a light lisp belonged to. Because of that, he stayed still after his tiny jump and ignored the older.

 

“I was looking for you! Couldn’t find you in your bedroom, or bathroom or Kihyuns bedroom or living room. But here you are!” he tried to keep calm and not show how annoyed and pissed off he was already. “Don’t fucking go into my room when I’m not around. Or better, don’t _ever_ come into my room.” And Wonho laughed again. _Fucking asshole._ “Yeah, but how else could I look for you? I was knocking and just taking a tiny peak afterwards, but left immediately!” while talking, he walked more into their rather big kitchen until he stood by the dining table on the right where Changkyun sat. And like it was the most common thing, he sat down on the table. Like people weren’t eating from where his ass was placed right now. Irritation tingled under his skin, but he took a deep breath and looked up. Keeping his straight face and not returning the friendly smile thrown at him. “So, _yay_ , you found me. What do you want from me Wonho? I’m kinda busy and not in the mood to talk to you.” the older didn’t really try hiding his displeasure at the name he was called. Changkyun on the other hand, found a sick satisfaction after realizing it.

 

“Actually, nothing. Just wanted to see you, you locked yourself away from us in the last few days. Wanted to make sure you’re still alive.” Changkyun rolled his eyes, “Well, as you see, I’m not dead. Can you leave me alone now, I wanna eat in peace and learn afterwards.” And he continued after that, stuffing his mouth with too much rice, but he didn’t really care. He wanted to leave immediately and cursed (not really) his parents, who always told him to eat everything from his plate. “You gonna learn today? But why? Didn’t you learn all week long? We wanna spend some time with you, too!” he ignored the older, head resting on his left hand. Changkyun felt a headache forming already. “Changkyunie, come on, don’t ignore me! You can take a break for at least some hours and stay with us. How is Hyungwon able to do it but not you?” Wonho was really getting on his nerves, but he tried to keep calm. It wasn’t the first time that Changkyun wanted to hit the older right in the face, just to make him shut up. But he was the good, calm, and sweet Im Changkyun. Everyone would be disappointed in him, so he had to gulp down the forming anger.

“I have to keep my good grades, alright? I won’t risk my future, just to party all day long. Hyungwon can do both, but I can’t. Our last year starts in a few months, so _excuse me_ for caring about my future. Unlike some other people.” His voice wasn’t loud, but you could hear the irritation. He mumbled the last sentence, but Changkyun was pretty sure, the older could hear it. Granted, it wasn’t nice of him to say that, but from his view he was only telling the truth.

Wonho didn’t seem to care about his future. From what Changkyun saw, he probably never did. After meeting Wonho, he got to learn more and more about the older, without really wanting to (his knowledge was still lacking if you think about the fact, that they knew each other for 1 ½ year). The things he knew, were:

 

Wonho was older by about five years, which surprised Changkyun, but at the same time it didn’t. It was a weird mixture, because Wonho did look older than expected (which could also be the tattoos and piercings and bleached hair, making him look intimidating and mature). On the other hand, more often than Changkyun could count, the older acted like a little child. Never taking things serious, too stubborn, annoyingly loud, didn’t think before acting and a lot more. And Changkyun hated all of it.

 

Second, Wonho dropped out of college at the age of 19. Honestly, when Changkyun met him for the first time and heard about this afterwards, he wasn’t really shocked. It wasn’t even meant in a mean way and more like he expected it. That someone as rebellious and dangerous looking as Wonho couldn’t bear going to school. Which was alright, Changkyun thought he was doing something more artistic or private anyways. Working until late at night, or sometimes in too early hours.

 

_Oh, how wrong he was with that assumption._

 

Which led him to the last fact he knew about the older. Probably most shocking and something, Changkyun couldn’t believe till this day, because it just sounded too absurd to actually be true. Too random and out of place. The way he earned money to survive...

 

He sold drugs, he was a drug dealer.

 

A _drug dealer._ A _fucking_ drug dealer for _fucks_ sake. That did shock Changkyun. Like, a lot. A really bad surprise he wished wasn’t true. Never had he thought, to actually meet someone who sold drugs. To have a person with a job like that involved in his life. Not something he saw on TV and judged, because drugs were obviously bad and people who sold it were automatically no saints. No, it was part of his reality. Wonho was part of it (and not only him, but also Minhyuk and Jaebum, who were his roommates and did the same). Like, _what the fuck_? Was that really true? He never heard of drugs in Korea, was he that fucking stupid and innocent? And in this house out of all places? Changkyun saw mostly normal people living here, even some families and old couples, this wasn’t a place for someone who sold fucking drugs, right?

 

It was weird, in many ways. Wonho didn’t seem like someone selling drugs either. Yeah, he looked dangerous and one could guess, to better not get involved with the older. But drugs? The weird stuff people get addicted to and more than often ruin their whole life? He was really selling that? Questions were floating through his mind: How did he get to this job? Was there a reason? Did he do drugs himself? Was it his only way of surviving? Wasn’t there another way, another job he could choose? Or maybe he had something else, but it was also illegal?...

 

After finding out about that, he distanced himself even more from Wonho than he already did. Someone like that shouldn’t be part of his life, or at least not too much. He decided, that his curiosity wasn’t worth involving himself more with Wonho. The older male wasn’t his problem, so he didn’t need to know the answers to his questions. It didn’t matter, they wouldn’t change his opinion towards Wonho. And he hated the older only more after he found out, that Wonho actually sold weed to Hyungwon. The discussion the best friends had was only a distant memory now, but he could still feel the anger and frustration and disappointment. He wanted to know the reason, why he had to take this stuff. _Why?_ And Hyungwon only explained, that it kept him calm, instead of drowning in all the stress they had. Changkyun couldn’t understand it, but he stopped asking. It wasn’t his decision to make and he had to shut up.

 

Still, it didn’t stop him from confronting Kihyun next. Obviously, the older knew about everything and didn’t seem to mind. Talking about, how some of his friends either sold drugs or took something. Continuing with, that it was their life and he wasn’t judging anyone. That they were still his friends, because he knew they were good people. Changkyun couldn’t really understand and just left..

 

He wanted to ask Wonho too. _Why?_ He badly wanted to understand, but he decided against it in the end. Changkyun chose to shut up and build more walls around him. Distancing himself not only from Wonho, but also Kihyun and Hyungwon.

 

  
“That hurt Changkyunie, why do you have to be so heartless to your hyung?” he jerked out of his thoughts and could only snort at the older. “Again, don’t call me by any nickname. Also, that’s how I am, you have to deal with it.” Why was Wonho still here, anyways? Changkyun told him to go away and wasn’t acting nice by any means. He never understood, how the older seeked Changkyun’s presence and wanted to talk to him, if all he ever got was a cold shoulder and hurtful words. It didn’t make sense to him. “Whatever, there was something else I wanted to talk about.” For a moment he glanced towards the older, one eyebrow raised. Wonho seemed a little different than usual. It was like the older lost his cocky personality for a moment. He wasn’t grinning or smiling, just a straight face and biting onto one of his lip piercings. But it seemed more of a habit instead of doing it because he was nervous. Even his voice was much calmer and softer than usually. “Yeah?”

 

“It’s about Monday. Usually I wouldn’t care, but you’re one of the closer people I know. Just wanted to apologize for kissing you on the cheek without a reason. _Again_. I think the alcohol from the day before hadn’t left completely and I wasn’t thinking straight. _Literally_.” He winked at the end and there burst his bubble of actually believing, Wonho could be serious for a minute. If it had not been for the last action, Changkyun would have been thankful and would have shown it. He thought about the kiss over the last few days, and it made him flustered remembering the scene, but he forgot about it and chose to leave it behind. Wonho gave him even a chance to simply forget about it, and he would have appreciated it, but of course, the older had to be cocky. So, Changkyun decided to simply shrug as an answer and concentrate on his food again. In about one minute he should be done and could finally leave this hell of a conversation.

“That’s all I get? Not cool Changkyun, a little more gratitude would be nice. Anyways, I wasn’t lying about appreciating your appearance by the way. You’re a good looking guy, it would be hard saying 'No' to you.” And of course he would flirt again, voice dropping a little. It’s like second nature for Wonho, which Changkyun learned after their first meeting. He didn’t need to look up. He could tell, Wonho had one of his smug and cocky grins on his face which he hated. Maybe, the older wasn’t doing it on purpose. _Maybe_. But could it be on accident, that Wonho pressed exactly the right buttons to make Changkyun’s blood boil – not in the good way. He was ready to lash out and maybe use his chopsticks to attack the older. Changkyun decided against it and tried to calm down. In the last second, he took a deep breath and clenched his teeth. It took him barely five seconds to get his emotions under control, getting better and better at it since he met Wonho. Changkyun couldn’t even tell, if he was actually proud of it. While talking, he didn’t even look up. He was almost done with eating and wouldn’t stay one second longer than he needed to. “You don’t need to worry about that, I wouldn’t want anything from someone like you.”

 

“Someone like me?” Wonho was clearly confused, but with a hint of amusement in his voice. It was what made Changkyun lose any guilt while saying, “Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if drugs aren’t the only thing you are selling.” Silence surrounded them for the next few seconds, and Changkyun almost choked on it. He could hear the others yelling and laughing in the living room, and for the first time he wished to be with them. He felt like dying in this atmosphere. Then, a breathless laugh was heard from Wonho and Changkyun stopped eating. “That’s what you think of me? Selling my body for money like a whore?” Changkyun didn’t say anything. Wonho exhaled a deep breath. “I’m not even mad to be honest, people would expect that of me, right? I shouldn’t be surprised.” He got off the table and stood beside Changkyun. Latter wasn’t looking up, throat blocked with what felt like a stone. His heart hammered too fast against his ribcage and he tried hard to not close his eyes out of uncomfortableness. Suddenly, a hand was gently petting his hair and cold fingers stroked once through it before leaving. Usually, this gesture made Changkyun more than mad. He would yell and whine, every time Hyungwon or Kihyun did it. But this time, he kept still and let the older do.

 

“Sorry for interrupting you. Eat up and learn afterwards. But don’t overwork yourself again. You lose yourself too easily in studies and forget about other important stuff..” And with that he left Changkyun alone in the kitchen. Suddenly, he wasn’t as happy as he expected to be. Guilt was slowly creeping towards his heart and consuming his whole body. He knew, it wasn’t alright to say what he said. There was no excuse in that. But it was also something, Changkyun actually believed and wouldn’t be surprised if it were true. Recalling Wonhos reaction, he could probably dismiss this thought. The older sounded hurt by his accusation. Bitter and a little sad. Changkyun didn’t want to think about the sound again, preferred to forget this ever happened and continue with his life. _Like always_.

  
But he sat on his chair and starred at his food, mind full and head spinning. He couldn’t tell how long he stayed in the kitchen like an idiot, but at one point Kihyun came in. Worried eyes looked at him and after sighing, the older told him to go back to his room and lie down, because he seemed pale.

 

Nodding, he did what he was told.

 

While walking through the living room, he ignored the questioning gazes and especially one pair of eyes, intensely looking and following him, till he was safe behind his closed door. He had no control as his body fell to the ground and he leaned against his door, head pounding and heart beating fast.

 

 

  
He couldn’t recall ever feeling like this. So lost. His emotions mixed and confused. It was frightening and he didn’t like it. Changkyun always hated and feared the unknown.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, my issue was outing Wonho as a drug dealer. I was thinking about waiting with that, but it wouldn't make sense. It's one of Changkyun's main issues with Wonho and I can't wait till the 10th chapter to give that information xD
> 
> Ok, we dropped the first bomb, but there are still a few o.o
> 
> Bye!

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, we are starting slow!  
> Wonkyun is introduced and obviously don't like each other(?) Who know what's going on with Wonho xD Ha, why are first chapters the most hard and awkward to write, I really don't like it but let's see for the next ones.
> 
> If you are confused, don't worry! Most of their pasts and how everything happened and what's going on, will be told in later chapters!
> 
> Should I also write in Wonhos POV? Changkyun was usually easy to write, but something about Wonho frightens me to write in his view xD  
> But I guess I should, at least in later chapter? ^.^"
> 
> Thanks for reading,  
> Bye!


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